Happy National "Blame Someone Else!" Day

Well, friends – the day we’ve all been waiting for has finally arrived! The day we’re encouraged to finally just let it all out! In the immortal words of Han Solo, “It’s not my fault!” I just won’t take the blame for all this stuff anymore!

Mom and Dad – It’s your fault! I blame you! It’s because of you that I got such good grades that I had my choice of colleges when I graduated from high school! OH! And it’s also your fault that I appreciate hard work and honesty! I hope you’re happy with yourselves.

Ray Kimball and the TAG bunch at West Point – I blame YOU! It’s your fault that I’m head-over-heels in love with the theater now! What would Sylvanus Thayer say about what you’ve done to me??? I hope you’re happy with yourselves.

Laura and Alicia and Jonathan – It’s all your fault! I blame you for making me come to Lipscomb and become a Christian! I hope you’re happy with yourselves.

Jeff Walling – I blame you! It’s your fault that I let you baptize me! If you weren’t such an excellent preacher, if you didn’t make the gospel so convicting and so attractive, who knows what I could be doing with my life right now! I hope you’re happy with yourself.

Ray and Stephenia Bowman – I blame you! So much of this is YOUR fault! If you hadn’t opened your home and your lives to me, I might be a much different person now. I hope you’re happy with yourselves!

Joel Hestand – I blame you! If you had just let me keep warming the pew at Myrtle Avenue, I would still be enjoying stage fright, I would have a lot of time and money back from buying books and reading them and writing sermons and stuff – this crazy blog wouldn’t be aggravating people all the time – I wouldn’t be studying NationsUniversity or teaching classes anywhere! I hope you’re happy with yourself. Oh yeah! I almost forgot! You married Carly and I! It’s YOUR fault!

Heather Sue Worthington – It’s YOUR fault! I blame you for hiring me at Chili’s! What were you thinking, sucking me into such a great place to work and make friends and grow! I hope you’re happy with yourself.

Morgan Tracy, library director at Asbury College – I blame YOU! It’s your fault that I have this excellent job now at the State Library! If it wasn’t for you, I’d still be coming home every night smelling like a grease fire! I hope you’re happy with yourself.

Josh Stamper – I blame you! It’s your fault that I laugh so much at work! I hope you’re happy with yourself.

Trey Morgan – I blame YOU! It’s your fault that I know about the people at the dump in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, now! I had a really great life before you showed them to me! Now look at what’s happened! I hope you’re happy with yourself.

Fumbling Towards Eternity readers – I blame YOU! It’s your fault that I spend so much time writing junk like this! Some of you have the sheer brazen audacity to email me and encourage me to write more when I’ve missed a week or two! How dare you??? I hope you’re happy with yourselves.

Carly Rae – I blame YOU! It’s your fault! I can’t even begin to list everything that’s your fault! If it wasn’t for you, I’d still be in Nashville, working third-shift at Waffle House! How can you forgive yourself for taking me away from all that splendor??? If it wasn’t for you, I’d still be single, with a girl on each arm every night cuz that’s how I roll! How can you ever forgive yourself for teaching me about grace and forgiveness and faithfulness??? I hope you’re happy with yourself.

I hope you’re ALL happy with yourselves. I blame you for how splendid and wonderful and unique my life is today!

Thanks a lot, LORD, for putting all these people in my life! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???

in HIS love,
nick

PS – But seriously, LORD? Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!

Advertisements

About Nick Gill

orphan-poet-adoptee-soldier-prodigal-servant-husband- counselor-desperate seeker after my Father's face "I feel my body weakened by the years as people turn to gods of cruel design. Is it that they fear the pain of death, or is it that they fear the joy of life?" - Toad the Wet Sprocket

Posted on 13 April, 2010, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Isn’t it amazing how many people touch and shape us in ways they can’t even imagine?

    Grace and peace,
    Tim Archer

  2. Thanks brother for some Tuesday morning laughs.

    Great post! I only wish I’d thought of it first.

    Royce

  3. I didn’t do anything except get a speeding ticket and buy a Star Trek shirt…

    Neat post!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: