War Among the Shadows

My life has been a story of grace. I survived the first months of Roe v. Wade. I survived my mother’s drug habit, and her profession as a prostitute. My grandparents were never perfect, and they made some really questionable choices with caring for me, but they loved me. I lived, I grew. I had books and cousins to play with. I had my imagination to always keep me company. I had Mom and Dad, who kept me safe, who did their best to introduce me to God. God has given me so many chances, and I’ve spent so much time burning them up. But I kept coming back. He keeps letting me come back. I’ve never let go of Him. He’s always let me hold on, because he loves me. Now, I’m being called out of the house of trickery, out of my life of addiction and excuses. I’m really afraid, because I’ve never been strong enough before. I’ve done so much to destroy myself and my relationship with my heavenly father. I’ve tried to trick him. I’ve tried to con him into giving me what I want. Now, I’m here. I don’t want to be that person anymore. Father, please accept me! All that I have is because of you and belongs to you. Please let me dwell with you and serve you now and forever.


About Nick Gill

orphan-poet-adoptee-soldier-prodigal-servant-husband- counselor-desperate seeker after my Father's face "I feel my body weakened by the years as people turn to gods of cruel design. Is it that they fear the pain of death, or is it that they fear the joy of life?" - Toad the Wet Sprocket

Posted on 19 October, 2006, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Wow – I would have had no idea!Thanks for coming by my place and dropping a comment!And, God DOES accept you, yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Awesome, ain’t it?

  2. Beautiful post! If it weren’t for our pride, I think we’d discover that pretty much all of us have struggled in surprising ways. Isn’t it a relief that God will let us have as many do-overs as it takes to get it right?By the way, I love the name of your blog: “Fumbling Towards Eternity.” That is perhaps the best description of the Christian journey I’ve read outside of the Bible.

  3. That is powerful, Nick! Thanks.

  4. I want to thank you for sharing this powerful testomony to the blog world. I hope people will read and see God does work in peoples lives for good. I know God has wonderful plans for you in this life to make for his Kingdom. God bless you brother!

  5. Stoned-Campbell Disciple

    Nick God is working in and through you. You are light years ahead of some of us because you do recognize the grace handling in your life. It has taken some of us longer to get the right glasses.This is a courageous, powerful and inspiring prayer. Thank you for letting me kneel beside you for a moment to pray alongside you.Shalom,Bobby Valentine

  6. I appreciate you much, Nick. Few people write with the honesty that you do.

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